Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
