I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
