I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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