george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
dude. I can hear the air.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
