chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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