I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
