I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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