How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
