right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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