billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
