I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We are two peas in an std pod
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
