Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
