i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
