pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize