Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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