I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
