he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize