and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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