Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize