So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
