my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
