I hate all girls vehemently.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
