you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
