Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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