A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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