her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Randomize
