I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
