oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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