did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
