um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Randomize
