So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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