We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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