youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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