I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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