the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize