I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
