doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
