That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
