You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
