i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
