my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
