Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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