If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
