Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
