How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
