words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
