she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
