who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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