Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
