so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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