I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
