Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
