Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
