No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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