I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
