does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
