well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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