And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
