just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
