He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
