Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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