And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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