Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
