The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
