We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
they're like a gay fantastic four
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
