HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
