I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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