I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just forgot I was standing up.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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