i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize