this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
