dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize