why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We're too hungover to prance.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
