Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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