I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
