Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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