I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
