Sponge bath it is.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
